Depression

Finding Networking Opportunities for Jobs

2005-12-12T00:43:00.000-08:00

Hello again,

I am almost done with my finals and I can’t wait for the holiday to come. One special thing about this break is that my friends and I will come down to Las Vegas for BYU’s bowl game. I am ready to bring a little bit of White and Blue spirit to LasVegas.

The semester is almost over, but stress about job is not over yet, at least for me. I have found a new way to find job and just want to share it with you guys.

You have never use the BYU alumni page, now I think you should if you want to find a connection for job. I have talked with several people and they suggested me to go to this page: http://alumni.byu.edu/.

What this page will do for you? This page will provide you networking opportunities with many BYU alumni who are working at many big as well as small companies. You will have a high chance to find someone who is working at one of your favorite companies or one of your favorite locations. They are often very friendly and willing to help you if they know you from BYU. I think this is a great opportunity to find interviews and demonstrate your interest in the company.

It is very simple to use the site.
Go the site http://alumni.byu.edu/
Click on “career networking” at the bottom of the left hand list
Sign in using your BYU user name and password
And there, you just enter industry, company , location, and etc…you are interested in. After you click the submit button, the site will show up names and contact information of prospective BYU alumni that you want to network with.

Hope this help you with anything.

Hey folks, if you are worried about finals and class, hope this poem help!

2005-12-06T16:00:00.000-08:00

Hi again,

I was sent from a friend a foem written by President Gordon B. Hinckley about BYU. During your break from studying for finals, if you are stressful and you want to throw away or burn the stuppid books, just read this. It wil help you to calm down and have more motivation and happiness to keep going.

If I were you, what would I do?

I'd enjoy every day of my stay

On this campus of Brigham Young U.

And so, if I were you, what would I do?

I'd drink of the nectar of knowledge,

A great, full draft of its richest brew.

If I were you, what would I do?

I'd walk humbly with God and my Savior, too.

If I were you, what would I do?

I'd fall in love with a girl named Sue,

Or a boy named Lou,

And plan for the day we'd be married,

We two.

If I were you, what would I do?

I'd live with my love with integrity true—

And welcome our children, many or few.

If I were you, what would I do

If courtship and marriage didn't come through?

I'd fret, but I'd say, "There's no time to stew.

Get busy. Find something important to do."

By now I'd just say, "Good-bye and adieu,"

With a prayer in my heart for each one of you.

By President Gordon B. Hinckley

1983, Second Counselor, First Presidency

PS: If you dont know who is President Gordon B. Hinckley, here is some introduction. He is the president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saint. The church playes a big part in both BYU's culture, operation and finances.

How to get some sleeps when you are stressed with classes or finals

2005-12-06T15:45:00.000-08:00

When I worry or stress, I usually cannot sleep. Even though I am settle on bed in a comfort clothes and warm blackest, I just cannot shut my mind and false as sleep. I am in bed with my eye closed, but my mind just keep randomly wonder everywhere. My mind processes a hundred thoughts at the same time. I think about assignments due tomorrow, about things need to be done this week and about how I am going to find jobs. Before I know it, it is 5 am in the morning. I usually get up very tired and stressed and I could not do anything the next day.
I try not to use sleeping pills because of the side effects and possibility of addiction.

When I saw my psychiatrist, he has showed my some tricks to trigger my mind into sleeping. I would love to share with you and help you get more sleep over stressful finals:

1. You can do some readings but in a very relaxing way. You just read, try couple times to close your eyes and let your mind at easy. You want to read for sleeping, not for attaining information so don't try to comprehend the reading. You just want to make your mind work lightly.

2. Don't take shower or eat at late night if your habit is taking late shower or eating late supper. Schedule the shower in the afternoon or the morning.

3. Don't put on comfy clothes until you are ready for bed.

4. Don't pressure yourself that you have to be actually sleeping at a curtain time. Just try to let your mind relax while you are on bed.

5. If you have a lot of things due tomorrow, don't spending the entire night worrying about it. Spend about 10 -15 minutes before jumping into bed to plan what things you will do tomorrow to get things done. This really helps me

6. If you are lying in bed for about 30-45 minutes and you can still not false as sleep, try some breathing techniques:

- Lying straightly on the bed and take frequent and deep breaths
- When breathing in, try to move your face, hands and feet’s muscles but still keep their original positions. For example: changing from a calm face to a grumpy face, moving figures and toes.
- When breathing out, relax your body
- Repeating the process for about 5-10 minutes.

Hope this help you to get a nice and relaxing sleeps.
Good luck with finals!

"Chat with God" Read and Think about life differently

2005-11-27T17:48:00.000-08:00

Thank you very much for a lot of supports from you. I received a lot of tips and supports to help me go over the bad times.

I found a talk "Chat with God", which is really helpful for me to open my eyes and see things differently. I learned a lot from it and I really want to share it with you. This helps me to understand that the early sussesss is not as important as heading to the right direction and getting hired right away is not as matter as finding the right job.

GOD : Hello. Did you call me?

Me: Called you? No.. who is this?

GOD : This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will
chat.

Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am
in the midst of something.

GOD : What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.

Me: Don't know. But I cant find free time. Life has become hectic.It's
rush hour all the time.

GOD : Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets
you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.

Me: I understand. But I still cant figure out. By the way, I was not
expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.

GOD : Well I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving
you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the
medium you are comfortable with.

Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?

GOD : Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what
makes it complicated.

Me: why are we then constantly unhappy?

GOD : Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about
yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has
become your habit. That's why you are not happy.

Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?

GOD : Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.

Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty..

GOD : Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.

Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?

GOD : Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold
cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but
don't suffer. With that experience their life become better not
bitter.

Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?

GOD : Yes. In every terms, Experience is a hard teacher.
She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.

Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why can't we be
free from problems?

GOD : Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering
Beneficial Lessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes
from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.

Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we
are heading..

GOD : If you look outside you will not know where you are
heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you
awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.

Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in
the right direction. What should I do?

GOD : Success is a measure as decided by others.
Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead
is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the
compass. Let others work with the clock.

Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?

GOD : Always look at how far you have come rather than
how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.

Me: What surprises you about people?

GOD : when they suffer they ask, "why me?" When they
prosper, they never ask "Why me" Everyone wishes to have truth on
their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.

Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I cant get the answer.

GOD : Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who
you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here.
Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of
creation.

Me: How can I get the best out of life?

GOD : Face your past without regret. Handle your present
with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.

Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.

GOD : There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.

Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat. I am so happy to start the New
Year with a new sense of inspiration.

GOD : Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe
your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a
problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to
live .

(I dont know the author)

Lessons I have learned in handling a job rejection

2005-10-10T22:46:00.000-07:00

If you have ever been refused for a job that you really wanted, you would know how hard it was to accept this objection. I got rejected not just one but many times, and I never knew how to handle them well. Instead of finding what I have done wrong, I just focused on blaming myself and doubting my ability. I gave up hope and lost my confidence quickly, especially when most of my friends around me succeeded. I was too busy focusing on the symptoms but not the actual problems.

It took me a hard way to learn this lession, but I am glad that I have learned it.

The first thing I have learned is that: if I get a job rejection, NEVER DOUBT MYSELF. Like all of people on earth, I am intelligent and capable of doing anything. If I loose hope and confidence, I will lose my willingness to do things and therefore, lose many up-coming opportunities. It is not just some big statements that I wrote. I have actually tasted the consequences of my hopeless attitude. For example, I was offered an internship with Pulte Homes, which I worked really hard for it. However, after 2 months or so, never heard about them, I gave up. I was so depressed that I threw all of my mails in a box and I never opened that offer letter until 4 months letter. I missed what an opportunity! If I knew about the offer and contacted the company in time, I would have spent my summer working and learning a lot of business experience instead of sitting home and staying depressed.

Job applying: the most stressful thing ever.

2005-10-10T13:59:00.000-07:00

I would have never thought that I was depressed at first. It was just a little upset about things. But first, let me tell you briefly about my background and the situations, which led me into a depression.

I am from Vietnam and I have been in the U.S. for a while. I was pursuing a business degree with a finance emphasis back then. The sadness started when I was at the third year in college.

If you are an international student, you will know how hard it is to get a good on-campus job. I am not in a computer major; I just barely got admitted in the business program, so basically I was not qualified for computer or teaching assistant jobs. The next best opening positions were clerk/secretary or library positions. However, with a Vietnamese-accent English and unprofessional communication, I was pretty much left out of the competition. In my school, with about 30,000 students, many of them are married, campus jobs are very appealing and therefore, very competitive. Foreign students, who did get jobs, could have done it either through networking or accepting a physical job. I had been looking for a job for more than a year. I applied many positions and had about 4-5 interviews a week on average. But at the end, I always got refusing phone calls, emails or just nothing at all from the employers. The root of my depression started from here.

I also got a lot pressure from my parents to find an internship. I would graduate in more than a year, so an internship would be very important experience to have in my resume. I believed that an internship would be a critical experience to obtain a sponsored job.

I started to give up after about 50 positions (both jobs and internships) by which I was turned down. Instead of keeping my focus on studying and waiting for more opportunities, I spent a lot of time on blaming myself and complaining about my situation. I kept asking questions like: Why couldn’t I, why other people? I believed that I was a stupid person. I was not aggressive enough to impress people, not confident enough to persuade recruiters and not intelligent enough to be qualified for the job. Basically, I had all the characteristics of a loser.

My depression grew bigger when I looked around and saw most of my friends having good positions. I was partially jealous and partially sad. I was haunted by a question: “ARE YOU A LOSER OR WHAT? WHY CAN NOT YOU GET A THING YOU WANT?” For the first time of my life, I tasted the bitterness of my failure. I wanted to get a job, just simply a school job, but I could not.

I lost confidence on myself. I started to think that I could not do anything. I felt hopeless, bored and tired with my life. I lost interests in studying and I abandoned all of my responsibilities. A ton of homework kept pounding up until I could never catch up with. My life was just up side down. I could not sleep for long period of time. I lost control of my time and my life balances. It felt like I fell into a hole that just kept growing deeper and I did not know how to get out. This just proved to me that I was right; I could not do anything.

Depression! Share your experience.

2005-09-16T21:30:00.000-07:00

Depression is the most terrible thing happened to me. Like many people, at first, I thought depression was just a stress feeling and I could overcome quickly. However, I was deadly wrong. It was like a metal disease. It took me at least 3 months to recover from a six-month depression.

Like many people, I won't accept that I was depressed at first. I hided my feelings and pretended to be ok. I didn’t want my friends to know about my depressed feelings because I did not want to look like a looser. I lost interest in most of things that I used to like. I did not want to work and refused to do most of responsibilities like studying. I tried to hide from friends as much as possible. I tried to spoil myself by partying or going out. However, parties were just like a pain release medicine. The sadness and hopeless feelings kept haunting and torturing me until one day I decided to see a psychiatrist. Most of my friends made jokes about it, since I am just a student, what kind of problem I would have.

Now I am much better. I am so thankful that I have seen my psychiatrist and have gone through most of my depression time. I wish I would have seen my psychiatrist sooner so that I would not have to suffer that long time period. I also think that a lot of people, like me at first, would not recognize or accept their depression feeling until it is so huge that they cannot hide it anymore.

That is why I write this blog to share my experience about depression. I hope I could help anyone, especially international students, who are sad or under a lot of stresses for a long period of time to recognize and to understand more about depression. By showing what I have done to overcome it, I hope I will give you some tips that may help you prevent or get out of these horrible feelings. Moreover, I would love to hear other people’s experience and advises as well. After all, I am still in my recovering stage.
Kim